


Reasons

by Mangomelions



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Established Relationship, Fluff, M/M, Marriage Proposal, YouTube, dog content
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-23
Updated: 2019-04-23
Packaged: 2020-01-25 15:24:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,823
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18577228
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mangomelions/pseuds/Mangomelions
Summary: Dan is always listing reasons why he's a failure. Phil makes his own list, posts it online, and cuteness ensues.





	1. The day before

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, I wrote this with the help of a friend. Kenzie, thank you so much. I'm cross posting this from wattpad cause i like this site more and only just figured out how to use it.   
> Of course this is fictional, blah blah blah, they are real people, i respect that, this is for entertainment purposes only and i don't assume to know their actual lives.   
> Thank you, EnjoyXX

Dan's first instinct, when he woke up that morning, was to extend his arm over to Phil. Usually, he would wrap his arm around the older boy's waist and pull him closer for warmth. But on that morning, he woke up alone. His first thought was one of annoyance. Phil had abandoned him and left him to freeze. He groaned and swung his legs over the side of the bed. A smile lit his face, as he saw Phil's hoodie on their bedroom floor, Phil's untidiness had some uses at least. Dan picked up the hoodie and pulled it over his head, pulling the drawstrings tight to maximise warmth.

He ran a hand through his curls and padded through the house to the kitchen. Expecting to find Phil making a cup of coffee, or stealing his cereal, he started to speak, but he stopped when he found the place empty. Dan frowned and went to get himself a glass of Ribena. He went to get his phone from his room and found he had a few texts from Phil. A GIF saying good morning with a little heart.  _Hey_ , followed by a bear emoji, that made Dan smile.  _I'm editing today, for an Amazingphil video. Might not be around that much. Don't distract me I'm working_  😊

Dan typed back quickly  _fiiiiiine! but I get Allen._  A moment later he heard a door open and close, and the quiet sound of tiny footsteps. Dan walked to the living room, where he adopted the browsing position, his MacBook on his lap, and a small corgi called Allen by his side.

At about two o'clock he heard noises from the kitchen, so he got up and went to find Phil. Phil was stood, in pyjamas and glasses, leaning his back against the counter. He had headphones in and hadn't seemed to notice Dan yet, so Dan leaned against the door frame and watched him for a minute. Phil's toast popped out and he turned around to take it out and butter it. Dan saw this as his opportunity. He snuck up behind Phil and curled his arms around him. Phil sighed and pulled out his headphones. He looked down at the arms around him.

"That's mine," he said, poking at the sleeve of the hoodie Dan was wearing. Dan could hear a slight smile in Phil's voice, so he uncurled his arms and put his hand on Phil's shoulder, turning so that they were facing each other. Phil didn't resist and turned to give Dan his usual grin, but then he turned back to his toast and made himself busy again. Dan was starting to get a little annoyed. When Phil finished putting marmalade on his toast, he picked up the plate and turned to leave. But Dan didn't let him get that far. He stepped into Phil, taking the plate in his hand and placing it down on the counter behind Phil. Phil gasped in surprise as Dan pressed his lips against Phil's, his hand flat on Phil's chest, the scrunching up the fabric under his fingers as Phil gave in to the kiss. It was Phil who drew back first. He smiled playfully at Dan.

"See. You  _are_  a distraction." And with that he was gone, taking his toast from the counter and padding back to his room. Dan was alone again, staring after his boyfriend as he tried to figure out what was going on. Phil wasn't usually like this. Usually when one of them was editing, the other would bring them snacks, and they'd joke around and just enjoy being around each other. Why was Phil shutting him out? Especially considering the only video Phil had to edit was one of the two of them playing with Allen. Phil usually let Dan have a say in the editing of their collabs.

Dan thought back to the filming of that video. Was there something he had done that Phil wanted to edit out, without having to explain it? Dan couldn't think of anything. Neither was there something Phil had done, that couldn't have been included. It wasn't like they were still keeping secrets from their audience.

Maybe he just wants some space, Dan shrugs and starts to make himself a salad.

At six o'clock, after a day of lazing about on the sofa playing video games and re-watching Anime (he knew better than to watch anything new without Phil), Dan peeled Allen off of his lap and stumbled back into the kitchen. After rifling through the cupboards, he decided that if he was going to cook, he had to go buy some groceries first. After changing into jeans and a t-shirt, putting Phil's hoodie back on over the top, and finding his wallet and keys, he poked his head through the door of the gaming room. "Phil, I'm going to get some food for dinner tonight, anything you want?"

Phil jumped up, changed tabs on his computer and walked towards Dan. He looked embarrassed, nervous even. Dan, who had been too busy looking at Phil to see what Phil had been doing on his computer, frowned at the unusual vibe Phil was giving off. Why was he being weird?

"I'll come with you," Phil said, taking Dan's hand lightly and leading him from the room. Despite Phil's weirdness, Dan instantly felt calmer with Phil's hand in his. Phil went to change, returning a few moments later in jeans and Dan's red hoodie. Phil gave Dan a cheeky smile and Dan rolled his eyes. Then Dan brought up something from an anime he had watched and for a little while, everything seemed like normal. They laughed and joked, teased each other about old hairstyles, and worked out what they wanted for dinner. It was easy, and this what they both loved about the two of them.

Whenever there was a lull in the conversation, though, Dan would glance at Phil and find him staring back at him with an unusual expression. It was thoughtful, more than anything, and Dan wondered what Phil was thinking about. Dan knew Phil better than anyone else, after about ten years of friendship turned to love, but today he just couldn't figure out what was going on with him. When they got back to the front door, a bag of shopping in each hand, Dan set his bags on the doorstep and reached into his pocket for his key. Phil didn't let him get that far. The next thing Dan knew, he was pinned against the door facing Phil, as Phil glued his mouth to Dan's. After a minute, Phil moved his head slightly and began kissing a smooth line along Dan's cheek, pausing a little to nibble his ear, and then down to Dan's neck. Phil loosened his grip on Dan's wrist, where he was holding it against the door, and Dan's hand slid down, his fingers interlacing with Phil's. Dan used this little bit of freedom to gently push Phil away from him. Not too far, of course. Just enough so that Dan could speak without some unintelligible noise escaping his lips. 

"What's with you today? I mean, not complaining about  _this,_ but before you were acting weird." Dan saw Phil flinch and that nervous expression passed across his face.

"I'm sorry, I've been busy all day." He kissed Dan again, but this time it was less urgent and more reassuring. The kind of kiss that shows trust and commitment, the kind of kiss that says  _forever_.

"I've got a little more work to do tonight, but what do you say we watch a film with dinner?" Phil said, producing a key he had at some point taken from Dan, and opening the door. He didn't wait for Dan's answer as it wasn't really a question. They walked through into the kitchen and started cooking.

After the film, Phil disentangled himself from Dan, being careful not to wake Allen, who was snuggling into Dan's side. Dan continued to absentmindedly cuddle the dog, as Phil bent down slightly to kiss Dan on the forehead, before taking their plates into the kitchen. Dan didn't see Phil for a few hours after that. When it got late, he sighed and wandered off to bed alone. He was just about to fall asleep when he heard the door open, and Phil came into the room. Expecting Phil to climb into bed beside him, Dan was surprised when Phil walked around to Dan's side of the bed, and stood above him, looking down. Dan kept his eyes closed, sensing Phil there but not wanting to interrupt whatever thoughts Phil was having. There was a slight noise by Dan's bedside table, and he had to fight to contain a smirk. Phil being clumsy was adorable. He wandered out of the room, pausing for a second to stroke Allen, who was curled up at Dan's feet and left Dan alone again. After fifteen minutes had passed, Dan began to wonder where Phil had gotten to, so reached over to get his phone from his bedside table. At this moment, Phil made a noise from the other side of the room, and Dan watched for a second as his boyfriend changed into Pyjamas. As Phil climbed into the bed, Dan tried to look at the clock on his phone, to whine about how late it was, but after a few moments of swatting at his bedside table, he realised his phone was gone.

"Have you seen my phone anywhere, Bub?" Dan asked softly, frowning.

Phil didn't answer, he just made a noise and enveloped Dan in his arms. Guess that was the end of that. It didn't really matter, anyway, it had to be somewhere in the house. Dan shifted to face Phil and curled into him, drifting off to sleep.


	2. The video

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dan's reaction to Phil being adorable. utter fluff

The next day, when Dan woke up and reached his arm over to Phil's side of the bed, Phil laced his fingers through Dan's and kissed the back of Dan's hand. This is how it's supposed to be, thought Dan, sighing happily.

"Morning, Bear," Phil said softly, though he seemed to be snuggling down again as if about to fall asleep again. After a few minutes, Dan sat up and looked around for his phone. Phil got out of bed, stretched, and wandered out of the room. Great, Dan thought, He's disappearing again.

But Phil wasn't gone long, a moment later he returned with Dan's phone in his hand. He tossed it to Dan, who caught it in surprise. Dan was sure he'd brought his phone into the bedroom last night. How did Phil have it? Dan shrugged, it wasn't a big deal. Phil sometimes took Dan's phone when he couldn't find him, it was usual for them to share everything. Phil mumbled something about going to get coffee and left the room.

Dan unlocked his phone to find it was on full battery. Phil must have charged it for him. The next thing he noticed was the many notifications, tweets and texts and reblogs on Tumblr. Lots of notifications, as usual, his entire life was on the internet, but this was insane. Tweet after tweet of "AWWWWWWWW" and "Cute AF" and "Lucky Day". Dan clicked on one of these, to find it was a reply to one of Phil's posts. A post with a video link. Dan clicked the link, and saw Phil, wearing Dan's Hoodie, and Glasses, exactly like he was yesterday. He paused the video a second in before Phil started to speak. So this was what Phil was working on. But the title of the video? It wasn't anything to do with Allen. It said, "Watch this, Rat."

"Phil???" Dan yelled. "What's with this new video?"

There was no answer, so after a minute of deliberation, Dan clicked play.

Phil's smile on the video was contagious, and adorable, like always. He was sat, in the gaming channel room.

"Hi, guys! I thought I'd make a video with a little different style today." Phil from the video said.

Then Dan heard the familiar tune "Reasons why Dan's a fail" it took him a second to realise that Phil had replaced the "yay" at the end, with "not". It took him another few seconds to realise what was going on. The picture of Dan on the screen wasn't the usual one, but a picture of him from a video last year, where he was wearing Phil's red shirt. Phil had always said that was his favourite Photo of Dan, it had been the lock screen on his phone until the two of them had had an argument after Allen had covered Dan's favourite hoodie in fluff, and Phil had taken Allen's side. His lockscreen had changed to a picture of Allen, and after Phil convinced Dan to forgive Allen, a selfie of the three of them cuddled on the couch in reconciliation.

The video cut back to footage of Phil, talking into the camera.

"Daniel James Howell," Dan blushed when he heard his name said like that. "You have filled the internet with hilarious videos about why you think you are a failure. And by now, you hopefully know that the internet disagrees. And I disagree. So, now that I have a decade's worth of evidence, I thought I'd make a list, of all the reasons why you, Dan Howell are most certainly not fail."

The video cut to different footage, of Phil in his room, back when they kept up the pretence that it was Phil's room and not just the cupboard with his set in it. This Phil was obviously a little younger, and a small timestamp appeared on the corner of the video telling him it was 19th October 2018. A year ago today.

"1," Phil said on the video, in a dramatic tone of voice. "AUDIENCE PARTICIPATION. You have grown so much since we were both foetuses ...feti??? Foetuses, I'm sure that's right." Dan laughed along with Phil and rolled his eyes.

"We used to be so guarded, so shy, and the tours, everything...I was so scared, and you helped me be brave, even when you were nervous yourself. Thank you for helping me, I have come so far since being that shy kid with the lions, and most of that is down to you."

Dan couldn't stop smiling. He had loved the last ten years and was as grateful to Phil as Phil was to him. His thoughts were interrupted by Video Phil. He had sharpie whiskers on his face, and Dan remembered that day. The day they filmed PINOF 10. Phil had looked especially sweet that day.

"2. YOU TALK TO YOURSELF. Your little conversations with yourself are adorable, and I always love hearing what is going on inside your head. It's always weird, and always wonderful, just like you. You do it in your sleep too, by the way."

Dan's cringed at that, wondering what Phil had heard. A different Phil appeared on the screen. This video Phil was wearing a Christmas Jumper and Dan recognised the background behind him as his Family's home in the North. Dan couldn't believe what he was watching. Each Reason was from a slightly older Phil than the last, a different point in time. It was like Phil was reminding him how long he'd loved him. Phil was proving that his words were true, now, then, and forever.

"3. PROCRASTINATION. You don't worry about all the things you have to do, and you always sort of engulf me in that. I pretend to be annoyed, but I don't mind. It's like we're in our own little world, where we don't have to be anything but ourselves.

"4. YOU CAN'T SLEEP. This is great, 'cause I can't either. You're always awake for late night popcorn making, or movie nights, that I usually fall asleep to, sorry about that, by the way. You are usually awake when I fall asleep, and something about having you there makes me feel like no one can hurt me."

Dan picked up Allen and hugged him to his chest. All of the Phils were the same. The same person Dan had fallen for all those years ago, and the same person Dan would love for the rest of their lives.

The screen cut to black. The words "He protecc" scrolled across the screen in the font of the white comic sans. Followed by "He attacc." Dan shook his head. Such anand meme.

"5." March Phil said. "4. PERSONAL SPACE. I'm worse at this than you, I mean, I literally tackled you to the floor in our first video together."

A little clip of Phil knocking Dan to the floor in the first ever Pinof played. Dan's smile grows.

"But honestly, you can enter my bubble anytime." Video Phil stared at the wall behind the camera, as he realised what he had said. "Anyway.....Moving on." Dan laughed into Allen's fur, where he'd buried his face.

"6. YOU MUMBLE (D). Honestly, you do this a lot less now, and I think because you are happier and more confident, and I love seeing you like that. You mumble stuff in your sleep sometimes, I notice when I wake up before yond don't wanna wake you up. You're cute when you do that. And you do this with your face." Phil scrunched up his face in an adorable way. Adorable cause it's Phil doing it, Dan thought. Phil's always adorable-looking.

7\. SEXYLLAMAs. Okay, Dan, confession time... once, years ago, I looked at your search history. I got curious cause you talked about it in that video. You know what I found? Your emails to my Mum asking how to cook my favourite cookies. It was just after we moved to London, and you knew I was feeling weird and missing my home and couldn't go back right then. You said you wanted to bring a bit of my childhood to me. And then, a few days later, you told me to stay out of the kitchen for a while, and then I found you, two hours later, having a bit of a breakdown because you still couldn't figure out how to bake the cookies you had been trying to properly. You threw the cookies in the bin before I found you, but I knew what you were doing. You wouldn't tell me why you were upset, and I couldn't admit to knowing without admitting to looking on your computer. And I needed you to trust me. I'm sorry, Dan. I really, really shouldn't have done that."

Dan remembered that day. He had wanted so much to make Phil feel better. Phil had given him everything he had, and he couldn't bear to see him unhappy. When Phil had found him, sat on the kitchen floor, hugging his knees, he had sat next to him, taken his hand, and leant on his shoulder.

"It's alright, Dan, I'm here." Phil had said, over and over. They had stayed there, just sat, for a long time. Phil knew? Why wouldn't he say anything? Dan wouldn't have got annoyed at him for something that silly. There were very few things Phil could do to ever make Dan really mad, and Dan knew with 100% certainty Phil would never do them.

Phil from May continued.

"But you know what, Bear? The fact that you tried to do that for me, it made me realise that my home... is wherever you are. As long as I've got you, nowhere feels alien to me. If you're there, I belong there. That's how I survived in London, America, Australia, and everywhere else we went on tour. The whole world is home as long as you're by my side."

This was too much. Dan paused the vidand waited until he had enough

"PHILIP MICHAEL LESTER" Dan yelled at the top of his lungs. "COME HERE." Phil didn't appear at the door, but Dan's phone buzzed as he got a text.

Keep watching. Phil had sent.

Dan sighed, and after a few minutes, he clicked play on the video. He needed Phil, now, needed to hold him in his arms and tell him how much he loved him.

"Stupid Handshakes, " Said June Phil, in pyjamas and glasses.

A little montage of PINOF clips, where they messed around making up handshakes, started to play on the screen.

The footage cut back to June Phil just long enough to see his reassuring smile.

"Left Handism." July Phil said, dressed in his Totoro onesie. Dan remembered that day as well. Phil had forgotten to do the washing, so neither of them had any clean clothes, and Phil had looked hilarious doing the laundry dressed as Totoro.

Then the footage changed, and Dan was surprised to see not Phil's face, but Louise's. Timestamped in September.

"Human interaction", She said. "Thank you for being as equally awkward as me. It always leads to something interesting, and interesting is always worth it."

Next the video cut to PJ and Chris, also timestamped in September.

"Hey Dan!!!!" Chris said, and Pj turned him, in frustration.

"Stick to the script. Formatting, it's important guys." PJ said, sticking his thumbs, in an awkward but endearing fashion. He turned to Chris and mouthed 3,2,1.

"You are a cool friend, you will always help out with a video if we ask and you are a fun person to hang out with."

The next clip was unexpected. Dan's Mum and Dad appeared on the screen.

"Your family doesn't care you flopped your Law degree at University." Dan's Dad said. A short clip from the rapping section of Dan's diss track played, before returning to the footage of Dan's Dad.

"We care that you are happy, and we are so proud of you." His Mum added.

Dan paused the video and sat in shock for a moment. the fact that Phil had organised a cameo from Dan's family, that meant a lot. He took a breath and clicked play again.

Then the video returned to footage of Phil from the day before.

"You care so much. Not too much. The perfect amount. You are kind and caring and sweet and you always know exactly what to do to make me feel better when I'm having a bad day. You have the kindest and most beautiful soul of anyone I have ever met."

Phil in the video took a breath, and Dan saw the invisible switch flip. This wasn't AmazingPhil anymore. It was Phil, his Phil.

Dan paused the video. He knew what was about to happen. And he wouldn't let it.


	3. After

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> what happens next

Phil was waiting in the lounge. He expected to hear a shout, or see Dan enter the room in tears, good, or bad. He expected noise, and fuss. After all, he had just asked his boyfriend the most important question ever.

What Phil did not expect was quiet, normal footsteps, heading towards the lounge. Then Dan appeared. Looking...normal. No excitement. No anxiety. Just...normal.

Phil looked at him, questioning. He knew he should speak, should get down on one knee, should show Dan the ring, should do something. But Dan caught him off-guard by his lack of reaction. Phil just stared at him.

The next thing he knew, Dan was saying "here" and Phil was putting his hand out to catch what Dan was throwing to him. He looked down at his hand. At the ring box, he was now holding. He stared at it for a minute.

When he realised what was going on, he delved his hand into his pocket, retrieved his own ring box, and threw it to Dan.

They stared at each other calmly for a moment.

They couldn't hold it any longer. Dan vaulted the sofa, tripping a little and falling into Phil with more force than he meant it. Dan leant down slightly to bury his head into the crook of Phil's neck, and they wrapped their arms around each other, Phils fingers finding Dan's hair and tugging softly. They were crushing each other so hard that neither of them could breathe, but neither of them minded. The embrace grew less fierce and more passionate as Dan placed closed mouth kisses against Phil's neck, then making deliberate sucking and biting movements that elicited a series of gasps and small moans from Phil.

Finally, their lips connected, in a slow, hard kiss. Dan's tongue poked at Phils bottom lip, but Phil pulled back.

"Slow down, Bear. We're in no rush." Phil giggled.

Dan smiled, staring into Phil's ey like they were the only thing he knew in the world.

"I know." he chuckled. "We have the rest of our lives."

Phil's grin grew wider.

"Is that a yes then?" he shot Dan a playful look of mock-surprise.

"I mean, I asked first, so technically you have to say yes to me." Dan blushed despite everything. " I mean, you don't have to, I'd like you to, but whether you do or not is completely up to you."

Phil frowned at him, quizzically.

"I asked first." He said.

"I didn't get to the end of the video. I gave you the ring first".

"So no one actually asked., Phil concluded. He took the ring box from his pocket, took a step back, and got down on one knee.

Dan laughed at him, as Phil looked at the ring box he was holding to discover it was the wrong ring. The one Dan had bought for Phil. Phil rolled his eyes and held his hand out to the still giggling Dan, who switched boxes with Phil once again.

"Daniel James Howell. Bear, I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I can't imagine it any other way. I love you. For all the reasons I put in the video, plus hundreds more besides. I love your eyes. Your face. Your smile. I like how you smell of warm and that I never feel safer than when I am cuddled on the sofa with you in my arms. Since the day we met, I have belonged to you entirely. I wouldn't be who I am without you. You are my best friend, my partner in crime and the person I care about most in this world. So, what do you say, Bear, Will you marry me?"

Dan burst out laughing again.

Phil glared at him, and Dan realised it was his turn to talk.

"What? Oh YES, yes!! " Dan was still laughing, but this was cut off when Phil slammed his lips against Dan's.

Dan pulled away and got lowered himself onto one knee.

"Didn't we just do this?" This time it was Phil's turn to laugh.

"No, you asked me. I had a whole thing prepared too, Lester, I'm not letting you take over."

"What? But we're already engaged?" Phil looked into Dan's eyes for a minute and realised he was deadly serious. Phil rolled his eyes and stopped interrupting.

"'I Love you' isn't enough. You gave me everything. My entire life is because of you. My career, my friends, They're not mine, they're  _ours_. You doubled my family and gave me a home. But the most important thing you gave me was you. Before you, I was sad and alone. I was a completely different person and I like me like this. I like the person you turned me into and I like the feeling I get when I'm with you. You make me feel invincible. I Love you and I can't wait for our future cause I know this is only the beginning of a new chapter in our story."

Dan took Phil's hand in his own.

"I have loved you for ten years and I will love you for the rest of our life. Marry me?"

"Naaaaa" Phil pulled his hand out of Dan's and turned away, taking a few steps away sell his performance.

Dan just let out an exaggerated sigh and stood up.

"Fine then, I guess you don't want this then." Dan put the ring box back into his pocket.

Phil turned around and made puppy dog eyes, apologetically, making Dan laugh. A moment later, Phil's ring was on his finger and the pair held their left hands together that both rings could be seen.

After a long, deep kiss, they took a quick pic for Instagram the rings, with the caption ' _We said yes.'_  The identical post was uploaded to both of their stories, after another argument about who got there first.

"Phil?" Dan said, later, when they were lying across the couch, a tangle of limbs and blankets.

"Yeah?"

"This isn't going away, is it?" Dan asked, softly.

Phil played with Dan's hand absentmindedly.

"I'm afraid you're stuck with me, bub."

"That's the way I like it." A smile spread across Dan's face, not massive, but lasting. A smile that would last forever.


End file.
